Movie Review – Quarantine (2008)

Starring – Jennifer Carpenter, Steve Harris, Jay Hernandez
Director – John Erick Dowdle
Domestic Gross – $31,691,811
Running Time – 89 minutes

First, I’ve never seen the original 2007 film from Spain so I have nothing to compare this to other than the run of the mill horror/thrillers. Having said that I really felt that this trite 28 Days Later in a firehouse was a terrible waste of time. Horror movies are known for terrible acting, but they got two reasonably good actors with Steve Harris and Jay Hernandez and then ruined them by having them work with Jennifer Carpenter. She just can’t seem to find the mood in any scene. This is also true of her work on Showtime’s Dexter. Between her and the awful storyline just pass on this one.

I’m Mike D and I approve this message

Movie Review – Flash of Genius (2008)

Starring – Greg Kinnear, Lauren Graham
Director – Marc Abraham
Domestic Gross – $4,442,377
Running Time – 119 minutes

What do you get when you try to tell the story of the man that invented the intermittent windshield wiper? A boring albeit endearing story. Kinnear plays engineering professor Robert Kearns in Detroit circa 1965. He realizes on his was home from church with the family one Sunday that when it’s only raining a little the wipers cause more of a distraction than the rain and wouldn’t it work better if you could slow them down. He adopts this as a pet project and develops the intermittent wiper. Unfortunately, when he demos this for Ford they go and steal the invention. He spends the next 25 years battling to get credit for his invention. The film was about 30 minutes too long, but other than that it was well-acted (which is tough to say about a Greg Kinnear movie) and an interesting true story. Lauren Graham was charming as usual. If you’re a bit of an engineering geek check it out. Otherwise, it may be a bit too long for you to enjoy and there are plenty of other David vs. Goliath tales.

I’m Mike D and I approve this message.

Movie Review – Bolt (2008)

Starring – John Travolta, Miley Cyrus
Director – Brian Howard, Chris Williams
Domestic Gross – $114,053,579
Running Time – 96 minutes

Bolt is a rescue dog starring in his own show with his best person Penny. They battle evil using Penny’s smarts and Bolt’s superpowers. The Director of this show is really in to method so he has made sure that Bolt has been raised since he was a puppy to believe that the show is actually his life and he really does possess superpowers. This is fine until one day Bolt gets out and has to fend for himself. From there Bolt gets a reality slap and has to find his way across country to get back to Penny without superpowers.

This is really a great kids movie that has just enough laughs to keep the adults interested. Next time you have to babysit pick this one up. Definitely worth the rental.

I’m Mike D and I approve this message.

Movie Review – The Safety of Objects (2003)

Starring – Glenn Close, Kristen Stewart, Dermot Mulroney, Josh Jackson
Director – Rose Troche
Domestic Gross – $319,299
Running Time – 121 minutes

Four suburban families and their issues overlap in Troche’s The Safety of Objects. There are stars all over the place from Glenn Close to Timothy Olyphant to Kristen Stewart in her film debut. The acting and direction are both very well done. The story is just a bit too odd and depressing form my taste. I could really see how some people would love this though. One character has a nervous breakdown and dedicates himself to helping people he’s never even met to win a truck in a radio contest. Just a little off. I won’t recommend it, but I will say there’s an audience out there for it (see Requiem for a Dream) so check it out at your own risk.

I’m Mike D and I approve this message.

Movie Review – The Foot Fist Way (2008)

Starring – Danny McBride, Ben Best
Director – Jody Hill
Domestic Gross – $234,286
Running Time – 85 minutes

Danny McBride is hilarious is small doses. He was outstanding in Tropic Thunder and Hot Rod. Unfortunately, Danny McBride in large doses is a little too much. To me Danny McBride is Tequila. One of two shots of Patron is the makings of a good night. A bottle is BAD. Foot Fist is the story of a small town martial arts instructor and his struggles with his cheating wife and idol worship. There are some good laughs, but it really doesn’t hold up for 85 minutes. Pass unless you’re drinking with the boys. I’m sure it’s funnier then… On the bright side even if you don’t like it it’s only 85 minutes.

I’m Mike D and I approve this message.

Movie Review – Sex Drive (2008)

Starring – Josh Zuckerman, Clark Duke, Amanda Crew, James Marsden, Seth Green
Director – Sean Anders
Domestic Gross – $8,402,485
Running Time – 109 minutes

REWATCH. I wrote a review of this last year, but I just watched Sex Drive again and I don’t think enough people have seen it. This movie is hilarious. Clark Duke is one of the greatest comedic characters since Stiffler in American Pie 1 (not 2 or 3 where he was a caricature of himself). James Marsden and Seth Green are both laugh out loud funny in the limited screen time they have. Sex Drive is billed as an update of The Sure Thing and to some extent it is in that the two main characters take a road trip and you know 5 minutes in to the movie that they will end up together. Beyond that though the movies have little in common. Next time you are looking for a comedy pick this one up. You won’t be disappointed if only for Clark Duke.

I’m Mike D and I approve this message.

Movie Review – I Think I Love My Wife (2007)

Starring – Chris Rock, Gina Torres, Kerry Washington
Director – Chris Rock
Domestic Gross – $12,550,605
Running Time – 90 minutes

I Think I Love My Wife is the story of a man who gets bored with his seemingly perfect life and begins to stray. Along the way he finds out that his life isn’t so bad. The End. Seriously, that’s about it. There are a couple funny scenes that could have come straight from Rock or Louis CK’s act, but all in all it’s just exceptionally trite albeit well acted. Oh, and Kerry Washington is super hot. Go back and watch Chris Rock – Bigger and Black and Louis CK’s Shameless instead of this. Trust me.

I’m Mike D and I approve this message.

Movie Review – Ghost Writer (2007)

Starring – Alan Cumming, David Boreanaz
Director – Alan Cumming
Domestic Gross – Direct to DVD
Running Time – 100 minutes

I really should stop watching Direct to DVD movies and expecting good things. I enjoy both Boreanaz and Cumming so I figured I’d give it a shot. The story is that Boreanaz is a terrible writer who wrote a novel, but can’t seem to get any traction. He preys on Cumming’s charity and lives in his place without any thought of compensation etc. Let’s not forget that Cumming is a repressed homosexual that yearns for Boreanaz despite his being a rampant heterosexual. Finally, Cumming snaps and kills him in a very elaborate manor involving women’s underwear and other humiliations. Before his death though he gave the novel to a publisher saying that Cumming wrote it. It made less sense in the movie than it does here. Regardless, the publisher thinks that this novel is brilliant in it’s simplicity and lack of proper grammar so Cumming becomes a massive success through the work of his now dead houseguest. The overacting is tremendous. Both characters are supposed to be over the top, but they are so far over the top that this movie was sent straight to DVD. Learn from my mistakes and skip it.

I’m Mike D and I approve this message.